Category Archives: Uncategorized

I once was lost….


Somewhere along the way I lost myself and my purpose here. Not here on the planet in this life. I know exactly where I stand in the scheme of things. I know my purpose in the universe. Here, in my blog though, I got more wrapped up in sharing content that I thought would interest the people or boost my businesses instead of sharing thoughts that my heart needed to purge and the sort of things I wanted to share just because this is my sacred space and I CAN. I forgot why I had originally created this blog in the first place.

I designed this humble little blog with one simple purpose in mind. I wanted a page to help motivate young people with illnesses towards a lifestyle of  positivity and optimism regardless of how their bodies make them feel on the inside and look on the outside. I want to share my own story while strengthening and inspiring both myself and others also living with auto immune diseases. I created this to be a safe space for myself and others in similar situations. Regardless of our genetic makeup and universal design, this life is what we make of it. No matter how much pain and illness one lives with, how we react to our bodies and how we make other people feel towards our conditions is our personal power.

Four years ago, after 10years of doctors, surgeries and tests, misdiagnosis’s of cancer, MS, and Ulcerative Colitis, I was finally correctly diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis and Narcolepsy with Cataplexy. After all the time spent in hospitals and doctors offices, I was barely 29 years old and living in daily misery completely consumed by the pains ripping through every nerve in my body and watching my physical state deteriorate faster than I could get to my next round of tests. I never admitted it verbally to anyone around me, but I lost all purpose for living. I saw absolutely no point in going on, but I never wanted anyone to know how dark my thoughts had spiraled because I had lost my own mother to suicide and I was all to aware of how actions such as that effected the people left behind. So I pushed on, not for myself, but for others, to show strength and inspire people, all while doling out fake smiles and secretly wanted to not be Me anymore. Somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t faking anymore and I truly did feel an endless source of strength from within and I began inspiring my very own self.

I came from an upbringing that valued privacy, almost to the point of secrecy. I realized how secluded my mindset was keeping me from the rest of society but I didn’t know any other way to be but private with a lone wolf mentality. Out of loneliness and desperation for connection of any kind, I taught myself to be vulnerable. It took many years, but eventually I learned to trust and open up. I learned the power of sharing thoughts and feelings and situations with others and about how much more we can learn about our selves when we share our experiences. I shifted my mindset from a place of misery and wanting to give up on life, to a place where I now see so much love and light in all things surrounding me that I want to share the beauty with everyone that I can. In a way, I feel as though I was given a second chance at life. We are never given struggles that we can not handle, and everything truly does happen for a reason.

In the beginning stages of learning to live my “new life”, a life of acceptance, self compassion and simple, gentle living instead of stress, denial and being to hard on myself. I had found hope and inspiration from a few blogs that had been created by other young people living full successful lives with auto immune diseases. I did not want to compete or take anything from the other blogs, but I felt that I too had something unique to share with the masses. My positive outlook, humor and resilience throughout the hard and seemingly impossible times, was something that I wanted to share with people in hopes of inspiring and connecting. The selfish side of me also wanted a way to connect with other people who were living with similar diseases so that I didn’t feel so alone, odd, different and medically freakish.

I want to help shed light on what life with auto immune diseases is actually like for both those living with the diseases and for those loving ones with diseases. It might seem hard to believe, but it is just as difficult to live with auto immune diseases as it is to live near it and not fully understand it, if that makes sense. As I struggle with my own issues, I am also hyper aware of how difficult to understand and uncomfortable pain and emotions can make other people feel. Communication has been my saving grace throughout this process. Educating others so they have an understanding of what I deal with and don’t feel nervous around me, or scared that something will happen that they have to be responsible for my well being, has allowed me to feel comfortable leaving my house and be able to enjoy the company of others again.

You did not stumble upon this blog post for no reason. Everything has a design, this was meant to be. Thank you for taking a moment to be present here with me. I hope I can help shed light and be a source of hope and inspiration for others. Please feel free to leave comments or message me directly if you feel the desire to reach out and connect for any reason. I am here and I am happy to help.


Free Crochet Pattern: Raspberries

Free Crochet Pattern: Raspberries

My Instagram followers keep asking me for my Raspberry crochet pattern so I’m giving it away on Ravelry for FREE! Follow this link below to see my (very small) Crochet Pattern Collection on

Gypsy Sugar Crochet on Ravelry 


Don’t feel like making the berries yourself? That’s ok! You can purchase bunches of berries in my Etsy Shop!

Raspberries For Sale in Gypsy Sugar Crochet Etsy Shop 

Please do not copy my pattern and use it as your own. This pattern is copyright protected and cannot be changed, sold, or published/reproduced in any way. You cannot sell or change the pattern but you are welcome to sell any of the items that you create yourself using one of my patterns. PLEASE remember to reference my Shop (Etsy – Gypsy Sugar Crochet and IG @gypsysugarcrochet for which pattern you used and tag me in your photos!


Welcome Home To Your Heart


They say Home Is Where The Heart Is. I never understood how true that was until I opened my heart wide enough to Be A Home for ALL.

I didn’t realize how in my head I had been living these last couple of weeks as I took care of the dogs needs, worked on my crocheting, and took the time to recharge my solo soul energy. The alone time was necessary to reset, but more importantly it remind me that I am a healer with a wealth of energy to spare. If I say or think, “I do not have the energy for this” then it is so. It’s not about whether or not I have the strength to do so. We Always have enough energy, it is a matter of the desire to bring it into existence or not. Energy is a choice. We are so much stronger than we allow ourselves to be at times.

I discovered exactly what I had been doing in the past that made reading Tarot for others so draining to myself. I would soak up loads of energy being gathered and passed around during readings and hold it within me. So much energy trapped within my vessel, ricocheting around within me, left me both supercharged and drastically drained. I didn’t realize what I had been doing until I was able to verbalize it out loud with my Goddess Crystal. (Not an Actual crystal guys…my best Goddesses Name Is Crystal). I thought it was my duty to actively move, purge or direct the energy while reading cards, and while I Can, it’s not my responsibility and will only do me harm in the long run.

(Is this actually true, or is it only true because I created the thought into existence? Do I actually even care about the answer to that? It is so and that is all that matters.)

Bellies filled with grub made from love, I cleared a space, gathered my Goddess close, and we laid out the most intense tarot reading I’ve ever experienced with another person. I am humbled enough by the process to be no longer concerned with where to put the energy, because I realize now that is not my job. That task is reserved for the universe. Let it go and let it flow.

Crystal & I are so insanely connected that I could literally feel the electricity zing between our fingertips from the moment we began shuffling the deck together. I didn’t even ask her if she felt anything physically because I didn’t want to alter the process in anyway. Wee bitty warm electrical shocks, more like vibrations actually, allowed me to brace myself for what was to come. I didn’t warn her, that’s half the fun.

The range of emotions that passes over a Querient’s (Querient is the word used for the person who’s cards are being read) face give me life. The tears make me giggle and I don’t even try to hide it. I don’t find the feels amusing, I mean no disrespect, but I am highly aware that the power play at war between heart, head and ego is coming to fruition right here in front of me. Some meet themselves for the very first time right before my eyes and I am honored and humbled to be a witness to a moment so sacred. That moment when a person discovers that the exact path they are on is in fact exactly where they are supposed to be.

It is not my job to read another’s cards, that is up to them. I am merely a doorway towards understanding. I know nothing about another’s life, desires and fears. Who am I to interpret cards into current situations for another? My purpose here is to help give the cards meanings and allow the querient to discover their own interpretations.

Other than for myself, I have never read the cards of someone I am so completely connected with as I did last night. It was an incredibly powerful feeling. My energy is still shimmering bright from last night. I am A giver of light and grateful to be a part of the process of self discovery.

Welcome home to your heart. I am honored to introduce yourself to yourself.

I would love to connect with other card readers and light givers! Comment below and say hi or send me a private message if you would like!

Full Moon Tarot Spread

Full Moon Tarot Spread

While the new moon is a time for beginnings, the full moon is a time for reflection rather than starting new things. The August full moon, also known as the Sturgeon Moon or the Red Moon, is a time of balance between hope and fear. We have harvested some things but the remaining crops are still in limbo. We take the steps we can to ensure success in our lives or trusting that the universe will meet us halfway.

I have been in an uncharacteristic limbo this past month without any inkling of why, yet realizing something was majorly off . Two days ago I made a big life decision and was shocked by the intense sense of relief that instantly washed over me because of the decision made firmly in my head and heart. I say shocked because pride myself in knowing myself, and yet I had not recognized before now what had been so obviously bothering me. With firm decision in hand, everything inside and around me clicked right back into peaceful place. My fears eased and I again felt hopeful for whatever was next to come.
Yesterday a good friend reminded me at the full moon was coming up and I was hit with another A-Ha! moment. Well of course I was going through the motions, the moons are always playing with our universal design pushing and pulling us in necessary directions. I have recently become fascinated with reading tarot cards and I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to practice some different spreads.

I tuned into my Buddhist Monk Radio Pandora station, gathered my crystals, and cleared my mind and energy. Focusing hard on the moon, my most recent life decision, and my intentions for the upcoming month, I prepared myself for my Full Moon tarot spread reading. Below I share my reading and interpretations!

Waning Moon
1. Things to let go of
2. Things to keep
3. Things yet to come
Waxing Moon
4. How the world effects you
5. What to give
5. What to receive
7. What to learn

Full Moon Tarot Spread Meaning & Interpretation

  1. 4 of Pentacles: stagnation, covetousness, avarice, lack of investments, material fears and uncertainty (I had been procrastinating on an important business decision that has cost me a lot of money this past year. I had been fearful of letting go because I liked the status and reputation that I had and was not allowing myself to make the decision that I knew was necessary. It was time to let go.)
  2. 3 of Pentacles: piece of work, creation, architecture, job, attention to detail, passion for one's own things. (I am incredibly passionate about what I do and attention to detail is very important to me yet I was letting little things slide because I was overwhelmed. This month I will focus on downsizing and simplifying so the I can regain my reputation for paying close attention to detail)
  3. The Emperor: Will, ability to control events and situations, ability to meditate, strength, virility, violent exercise of power (I am strong enough to be in complete control of my universe, good things are coming because I am able to slow my pace down, meditate on what's necessary and trust my intuition to guide me)
  4. Queen of Swords: aridity, repentance, need, sterility (being an empath makes me incredibly vulnerable to the worlds energy, I must be incredibly careful with everything that I do and allow to happen around me)
  5. King of Pentacles: owner, employer, hierarchical figure, funds, experience of success (I am my own Boss, I make my own rules. My financial situation will soon change drastically in a positive way due to the decision that I made)
  6. 4 of Swords: immobility, weight, sleep, concentration (As hard as it is to feel "immobile", sometimes doing nothing is more beneficial than doing something. This is a situation where waiting and being patient will bring greatness my way again very soon)
  7. Hierophant: inspiration, ability to bring conflicts to an end, feelings, relief, advisor, guide, example, serenity of judgment, patience (My year long conflict has finally ended and I feel a great relief and serenity from the decision that I have made. I was and always will exude patience over the need to push the universe in the direction that I think I want it to go in. I Trust Me)

So basically my full Moon Tarot Spread said that I indeed had made the right decision and am on the exact path that I need to be. I love how reading tarot always reconfirms what I already know in my heart and the fiber of my being. I have wanted to learn to read tarot since my early teens and didn't realize that that is why I was never successful at it before. Reading tarot is not something to be learned, it is something to feel and trust. Sure, there is knowledge involved in interpreting the cards but our instincts and intuition plays a far more major role. As soon as I let go of my expectations of reading Tarot and just went with the flow that my energy guided me along, my understanding clicked into place immediately. Tarot Reading is an interpretative art form to be used as a springboard to ignite and fire up all the different levels of consciousness with our hearts and minds so that our lives can be either enhanced or protected. Allow yourself to relax and be open to what feels right for you. It’s this organic, intuitive approach that will make all the difference for your Tarot readings. Do you have a favorite Tarot Spread or preferred deck that you like to use?comment below and share your knowledge! Many blessings my friends!

Rincon Rabbit Hole

Rincon Rabbit Hole

It took me an embarrassing amount of time to finish this blog post. It’s so much more difficult to write about the Rincon Rabbit Hole while you’re currently spiraling through it yourself. It happens to the best of us here about twice a year. We live where you vacation. No Es Facil. It’s not easy living here in paradise, but someone has got to do it. Unless you have had the experience of living full time on an island in a seasonal tourist town it might sound like we are being cocky or rude with that phrase, but that is not the case at all. It truly is not easy living in paradise, there is much to distract you and draw you towards the debaucherous dark side.

Beach BBQs, bonfires, parties in abandoned buildings, fire dancing, mini music festivals, island adventures, surf contests, sweaty surfer boys and bikini clad babes every where you look. No real rules of the road so please proceed with caution. Bring your cold brew with you or a cooler for the car bar. Nobody knows what day of the week is it because every day is Sunday Funday. No shoes-no-shirt clothing optional type of town. We are Lords of the Flies governing ourselves with sometimes disastrous results. This is the Land of  The Lost Boys claiming Neverland as our very own. Bienvenido a Rincon.

Some of the town residents chase the Summer and live here in this sleepy little surf town only six months out of the year and the remainder of us take a deep breath of relief as the population swiftly declines leaving the year round residents behind. We form amazing bonds with brothers from other mothers and soul sisters that challenge us look at ourselves and our lives differently. Star aligned soul mates that will either return to us in six months with stories to tell or will fade from our lives never to be seen or heard from again but always to be remembered for the memories and moments shared on this sacred island paradise. March and April is dedicated to non stop Going Away Parties and drunken half assed goodbyes. I have the added excuse of March being my birthday month, so I am extra guilty of tossing all my regular routines and self restrictions out the window to romp around with the rest of my island clan like a wild wolf woman on the hunt.

I give in to it and slide down the Rincon Rabbit Hole willingly.  Bands, bonfires, and debauchery that you absolutely can’t miss out on, followed swiftly by “I’m never drinking again” “why on Earth did I do that” and “it never happened if we never speak of it”. We thrive off of an interesting small town bubbled balance of best kept secrets and grapevine gossip. Tourist population dwindles and the two months of Going Away parties slowly blurs into the year round American “locals” trickling out of hibernation and reclaiming their bars and beaches in a more mellow fashion. Paces slow down, businesses alter their hours of availability and responsibilities dwindle down to the bare minimum for some. You climb out of the Rincon Rabbit Hole, take stock of your injuries, brush yourself off and like a flip has been switched, island life is low key again.

It can be a vicious cycle if you are not prepared for it, but a beautiful one if you have learned to trust yourself and your surroundings and go with the island flow. It’s not easy living in paradise, but someone’s got to do it. Only the strong survive.



If you are ever visiting Puerto Rico and find yourself gravitating towards the Best Coast, pardon, I mean the West Coast 😉 then please look me up! I run several vacation rentals and provide a full concierge service to anyone in need of a little guidance while visiting Rincon. I have a groovy crew of adventurous souls and we love sharing our passions for this beautiful island! Follow the links below to be guided to my Instagram and Facebook and see what kind of island shenanigans I get into!

Personal Instagram: GypsySugarCloud

Airbnb Instagram: BeachGoddessAirbnb

Follow on Facebook: Surf Town Beach Casitas 

Adventure with Cloud and stay at her Surf Town Beach Casitas



Looking At Love Through New Eyes

Looking At Love Through New Eyes

Before my thirties, I had met very few people to look towards as an example of what the sacred love shared between only two people should be like. Just before my 31st birthday I met a couple who changed not only my entire perspective, but their loving influence changed my entire life from that point forward.

I met Derek in 2014 when he came to vacation in Rincon, Puerto Rico to visit his family with his best friend Maty. I vibed out instantly with the guys and we all stayed in contact after they left. One year later Derek returned with his new girlfriend, Jade. I have always been “one of the boys” and am used to a variety of reactions that occur when a woman involved with one of my friends meets me for the first time. As soon as someone says, She doesn’t really get along with other girls, I know we will vibe out. Not that I don’t get along with other girls, but I am more likely to find common interests among groups of women who display more male characteristics (which also feels wrong to say because what truly determines “male” vs “female” characteristics except for our own individual opinions?). Derek & I have so much respect for each other and our friendship that we were both nervous of me meeting Jade for the first time. We both wanted everything to go perfectly.

Derek & Jade knew each other growing up through their school years and only began dating each other later in life. They watched each other make mistakes and grow from them. They already knew each other’s past, understood each other’s mood fluctuations, and honored each other’s energy in a way that I had never witnessed before. Derek & Jade were not perfect by any means. They bickered in their sarcastic New York way, spouted out You Never’s & You Always’, and experienced arguments and disagreements that would have sent most couples stomping off in opposite directions. Even their arguments are beautiful to me. There is so much love shown in every action that they take, individually and as a partnership. The lines of Her, Him, and Them are clearly defined. Derek & Jade are so very much their each individual people, and yet also very much one great combined unstoppable force each complimenting the other in such naturally effortless ways.

I quickly became in love with their love and in love with being their “third wheel”. Every visit they make to la isla we cram in as many adventures as possible, swap music until the sun comes up, talk until our voices are raw and laugh so hard our forehead veins pop. For the first time in my life I witnessed a passionate romance and love that made me want to scream out loud “I Want That!”.  Every emotion that they displayed between them is done with honesty, love and respect. I want everything that they have, the love, the laughter, the gentle disagreements, the honest opinions, and the complete partnership that they share.

I was waiting oh so patiently for the event that I knew was coming…..the announcement of their engagement! As if that was not enough to shed happy celebratory tears, I learned that they intended to have their wedding here in Puerto Rico instead of New York where they are from and I completely lost my head. But wait it gets better…..the wedding falls on the week of my birthday AND Maty (Derek’s best friend who I met a year before Jade) will be their officiant. I have not seen Maty since we all originally met back in 2014, and I have never gotten the pleasure of enjoying all their company at once. I’m so over the moon happy as can be you would think this wedding was for me!

Since meeting Derek, Maty, and Jade, my eyes have been opened to the endless definitions of love and soul mates. We are raised with the mainstream belief that our life’s purpose is to find our one true love soulmate and live happily ever after. I have loved so many people in so many different ways, for so many different reasons and each experience has brought something necessary into my life. The love that I speak of has nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with passion and connection. I now understand that being loved is just as powerful and necessary as giving love.

I will forever have the biggest couple crush in history for the two people that opened my eyes to a new way of loving and living. This upcoming weekend we will all join together to celebrate Derek & Jade’s wedding in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico. Stay tuned because this will be the first wedding in my life that I have ever looked forward to so I will all full of love and will have beautiful pictures to share later.

I adore this article from Elephant Journal on the Five Types of Soulmates We’ll Meet & Love In Our Lifetimes. Give the article a read if you would like and leave a comment below about any type of love that lifts you up!


“Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies meet each other.” ~ Paul Coelho

Inn Saei: The Sea Within

Inn Saei: The Sea Within

I’m going to change the world. In fact, I’m already in the process of changing it. You’re going to help me. We’re all going to do it together. All you have to do, is trust yourself.

I have always known that my purpose in this life is to help to change the world in some way. I had no idea how, I just knew that I was special, needed, and important to this world. We all are uniquely important. My belief has always been that when you put a certain energy out into the world it effects others around you, giving that energy even greater life force. If enough people start to believe what you put out there, that thing will eventually start to happen and become even more real.

I just finished watching an amazing documentary called Inn Saei, that proved to me that we are truly in the midst of a great change happening. Inn Saei: The Power of Intuition, reminds us of the importance of stepping within ourselves and to listen and trust our instincts. Our intuition allows us to get back in touch with nature and regain connection with the energy of our true selves. In a world that is constantly moving faster, it is essential for us to find ways to slow ourselves down and look within so that we don’t miss the important moments and lessons that life has to offer us.

Inn Saei has many meanings such as The Sea Within, To See Within, and To See From The Inside Out. In the documentary, two Icelandic cultural entrepreneurs set out on a global journey to uncover the art of connecting within. They speak with a wide range of people, from artists and scientists, to African tribe Elders and school children. The most inspiring and emotional segment of the documentary was when we meet an extraordinary group of British schoolchildren who are learning how to better cope in today’s world by unlocking the power of nature and mindfulness. We meet a boy named Shyloh with anger issues, who with the help of a program being used in his school called Mind Up, learned how to cope with his own anger issues and deal with life situations in peaceful ways by learning how to listen to and trust his intuition. Overtime his own actions encouraged his family to make small changes in their own behavior, and so the cycle of mindful change begins.

Mind Up is the signature program of The Hawn Foundation, created by Goldie Hawn thirteen years ago, which is serving nearly 1 million children in the US, Canada, UK, Serbia, Mexico, Hong Kong, Australia and New Zealand. The program helps bring a solution to our children who were suffering from high levels of stress and who were completely lacking the skills to navigate in a complex world. The skills and the mindfulness practices that are being taught within this program has helped children improve learning and academic performance and learn valuable social-emotional skills that build personal resilience for a lifetime. The Mind Up program is available to therapists, camp counselors, and parents at home as well as for school teachers and administrators. By using Mind Up, people all over the world are benefiting from better communication, reduced stress, better sleep, more compassionate home relationships, improved family harmony and more. It is such a beautiful program and the more I talk about it with others the more hope I gain for our future.

I have inserted a link to the Mind Up website below so that you can read up more about the program if you would like. I have already spread the word about this program to a few of my friends with children and am super curious to find out who already knows about it and what schools are already using these practices within their lessons. If you know of any schools currently using the Mind Up program please leave a comment below!

Mind Up: A Framework For Success In Learning And In Life


One of the greatest dangers of losing touch with intuition is, that we lose the ability of empathy and the ability of coping with our own feelings. Children have to learn how to interact in a world full of technical gadgets but also full of human beings. We tend to forget that sometimes. This world is forever changing and with it, so must we. For so long I have felt so out of place for being overly sensitive and intuitive and longed to be a part of a world that cherished and respected those that led with an empathetic nature. For the first time in my life, I do not feel alone in my ways of thinking. I am surrounded by passionate and positive minded people who are empowering and inspiring all around them to make positive changes in their actions and ways of thinking as well. Inn Saei is a beautiful reminder of the importance of finding calm moments in the midst of world wide noise. Let go of the chaos. Listen to the voice inside of you. Trust yourself.

I Honored My Mother With Honesty

I Honored My Mother With Honesty

In only two days this new year has already taught me enormously important lessons. For all the things that I know about, have seen and experienced, there are an infinite amount of things that I am naïve to. There is great reward in learning from your own mistakes, fighting your own battles, and conquering your own demons. But you don’t always have to live to learn, you can also learn by sharing your experiences and thoughts with others. I think we would all feel a little less miserable if we learned to share how miserable we feel at times. Every living being suffers and struggles at one point or another in their life. When did it become so important to hide that side of living?

I am a highly sensitive empath who was raised in an environment that did not always encourage showing and sharing feelings. I was taught to hide my fears and pains and always put my best and strongest face forward. Over time and with the help of some equally sensitive souls, I grew a respect for the power that comes with feeling free and safe enough to use my words to share all aspects of feeling. At times I still get ashamed when I feel down but for the most part, I am proud of my sensitivities. I am proud that I can feel, identify my feelings, and share them with others and I am eternally grateful for the people who I have met who are as equally open with their experiences. It is truly mind blowing how many emotional similarities we find that we share with people that we are unaware of because we are all working so hard to hide the bad and show off the good. In an ideal world, people would embrace all the feels and spread them around freely so they didn’t become insecure about the thoughts that they have at times.

This week is the anniversary of my Mother’s passing and I normally work hard spending the day distracting my mind and channeling my energies in the most positive ways possible. I desperately attempt to honor my mother’s memory by being strong in hopes of making her and the rest of my family proud of my strength while on the inside I am weeping so hard at the dishonesty of my actions because the truth is, I am still heartbroken. I have moments where I recall the amazing woman that she was, the way that she devoted her life to helping others at her own expense, and the beauty that shone from every fiber of her being. I can feel her light shining through me. But for the most part, I ache for the loss of my best friend, confidant, champion, teacher and mother. I see life moments that she missed, experiences that are not being shared, advice I am not being given, and lessons I am not being helped through. I weep for the moments we will never have.

A wise new friend told me that creating stories creates our possibilities. She reminded me to channel what I was feeling into creating the possibility of new energy and new opportunities. It was an odd sensation to have my own words of wisdom given back to me when I was not clear minded enough to remember them for myself. The gentle reminder was needed for me to remember that I still have an infinite amount of strength and energy stored up within me, the choice whether to utilize it or not is entirely my own. I used to think strength was not being able to be feel, be effected by, or acknowledge negative feelings, but I am slowly learning that true strength means persevering throughout All The Feels. There is an amazing power that comes with being able to bear your soul, shed tears, and share experiences honestly.

So today, I created a new possibility in honor of my Mother in hopes of finding a more honest way of getting through this tough time of the year. I imagined a moment where it was ok to feel sad on this day and accepted it into reality. I did not cloak my sadness in cheerful distractions or numbing diversions and I did not apologize for my sadness. I awoke with tears on my pillow, I sat in the sun and sobbed my heart out with mere strangers and I accepted their unconditional love and compassion with an open heart. I am leaking from the face as I write this, I fully intend on crying myself to sleep, and I am completely ok with how I spent this day. I did not use my head to distract myself in 100 different ways, I used my heart and allowed all the feelings to rush through me. Today, for the first time since she has passed, I honored my mother with honesty.




Frente Bolivarasta Vol.4 Nomades // #BeatJunkyBlogPost

Frente Bolivarasta Vol.4 Nomades // #BeatJunkyBlogPost

No matter what sort of night I had previous, or how much sleep I got, I can gently guide my mood of the day based upon the music I start my brain off with. Beginning each morning hunting down new music has become a meditative routine for me that helps me kick off my day with beautiful vibes. It is hard to keep track of all the amazing music that flows through my life so I am going to start compiling some favorites here to share with you all!

I am kicking off my first #BeatJunkyBlogPost with the Latin American vibes from the Frente Bolivarasta label. I wish I could add every single one of their albums onto this post but I am forcing myself to pick just One representative album to share with you. I chose Frente Bolivarasta as my first music selection to share because they are a label with such a diverse selection of artists whose sounds each hit my heart so hard they bring happy tears to my eyes (I’m an emotional sort though so forgive me, good music makes me weep!). Every single artist featured on this compilation will make you feel their music in physical and metaphysical ways. Their mantra is “hermanos unidos conectando las influencias permitiendo nuevos horizontes”, which translates to “United brethren connecting the influences allowing new horizons”. I LOVE music that makes you FEEL and connects people on a universal level.

The fourth compilation of Frente Bolivarista is inspired by the sounds of Nomade Festival, a festival, music label and artist collective seeking a new sound territories merging the contemporary to the ancestral Latin America folk. After a three day journey of a lot of fusion music into the woods, meeting dozens of great and insipiring people from all over the world they decided to release a new compilation inspired on this beautiful exchange of knowledge.

I am going to list each featured artist below for you with links to each of their individual SoundCloud pages for you to expand your music horizons if you wish!

Pigmalião draws you instantly and sets you up for an amazing compilation of heart felt music that will lift your spirits and make you feel all the things. Pigmalião is the result of experiments on merging Latin American regional and roots references with specific sounds from other parts of the world. This first track is by far one of my favorites and had me eager to hear what was to come next!

Vruno is the stage name of Bruno Saldivar, an experimental musician from Chile who is constantly utilizing inspirations from all the different sounds of the world.

Camila Costa is an artist from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil who has a beautifully clear voice and a simple sound akin to Bebel Gilberto.

Gama is a young Dj/Producer based out of Mexico City who specializes in Electric Latin Fusion beats. His track is honestly my least favorite of the batch, but it helps set the pace for the following tracks.

Matanza Y Spaniol is either a very new artist or they simply do not have a lot available online. The track Lamento Negro feels like a story. An almost 8min track with a hypnotic beat that takes you on a completely different journey independent from the rest of the album. I can dig it, I wish I could find more of their music!

Steffen Kirchhoff plays deep electronic soulful music with spirituality in his compositions. His tracks contain organic and spiritual elements like shaman drums, holy chants and field recordings that reflect the beauty of nature.

Dandara adds some rhythmic jungle beats to the compilation. He spends his off time between festivals traveling throughout South America, collecting sounds and experiences and working on new music.

EXZ is the pseudonym for Dj/Producer Alexandre Silveira from Sao Paulo, Brazil. You can find him showcased at the festival circuits in Chile, Brazil, and Germany.

Kurup is a Dj/Producer from Brazil specializing in electro-acoustic vibes. His track, Canela, meaning Cinnamon in Spanish, is another of my favorites on the compilation. Such a sexy sound!

El Remolón is the alterego of Andrés Schteingart, a producer who tucks hints of Latin American rhythms like cumbia into a solid base of electronic music.

Intiche is a beautiful earthly goddess who reminds her listeners that everyone must remember we are cells in your body and we dance together. Her vibes remind me of a Latin Björk!

Cancion Waunana finished us off with a melodic ceremonial flute and drum selection that elevates you higher! This track is another of my favorites and I was again disappointed that I could not find more of their music, but this track is a fabulously beautiful way to end the compilation.

All the tracks featured here are rich with spiritual sounds and binaural beats that will take you on a magical journey. Take a moment and do your ears and heart a favor by starting your day off with music that will set your desired intentions for the day! You can find this compilation plus all the other music that I will be later sharing on my Music For The People Page! My SoundCloud page, Cloud Vibes, is also full of goodies that I hunt down and repost so Follow Me for more music inspirations.





U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) Announces Plans to Ban Kratom’s Alkaloids in the United States

U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) Announces Plans to Ban Kratom’s Alkaloids in the United States

Kratom, Mitragyna speciosa, is a tropical deciduous and evergreen tree in the coffee family. The medicinal effects of kratom are highly flexible and diverse due to its unique alkaloid profile, which is unlike any other plant known to exist. These effects are:

  • Pain relief
  • Opiate withdrawal relief
  • Opiate maintenance /transitional substance
  • Mood-lifting
  • Energy Promotion
  • Anxiolytic (Anti-Anxiety)
  • Depression Relief
  • Insomnia Relief
  • Immune System Stimulation
  • Nootropic (Cognition Enhancing)
  • Anti-leukemic
  • Anti-malarial
  • Anti-inflammatory
  • Lowers blood sugar

In addition to this large range of medicinal applications, this plant also has other positive secondary properties such as high-antioxant and vitamin content, which has made it worthwhile for general health purposes as well. Kratom is safe in almost every regard, as there have been no known deaths from this plant, except in combination with other dangerous substances.

I am so wrecked with emotions right now that I am having trouble even forming the words necessary to write this post. But here, and now, this post needing to go out and be read and reacted to is one of the most important things in my life. Kratom saved my, and thousands of others lives after diagnosis. After 10yrs of being passed around between doctors and specialists and enduring every test under the sun, I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis and Narcolepsy and handed dozens of prescriptions to manage my symptoms and the symptoms that other medications were causing as well. I made the decision with the support of my doctors to decline all prescriptions to instead self medicate with Kratom. I researched with others more knowledgeable than I, and then I took the knowledge that I gained and taught myself how to properly and safely dose for my needs. I am thirty two years old and I have already recreated life after diagnosis. I do not have the time to be tired, or have brain fog. I need to live my life. I have goals to conquer and people that depend on me. Taking away Kratom is like taking away my right as a US citizen to empower myself and have free choice. Why should I be forced to use prescription medications because huge pharmaceutical companies care more about profit than my well being? I am an adult and should not have government deciding they would prefer I am in pain or hooked on Morphine than a thinking viable member of society. I am sitting here terrified of my options if this law passes. At the bottom of this post I have provided a link for the petition to NOT make Kratom alkaloids a Schedule 1 Substance.

A member of my AS support group wrote the following: “The CDC reported that it received 660 calls between 2010-2015 regarding Kratom, many of which involved people that were using Kratom with Heroin or other illicit drugs. I cannot help that there are people that will use Kratom, alcohol or even aerosol cleaners in combination with other drugs to get high. I should not be punished for other people’s poor choices. By that logic alcohol, household cleaners or even Tylenol should be illegal. I would bet that the CDC received more calls about Tylenol than Kratom; yet no one is seeking to make it schedule 1.”


The company that I trust most to provide the quality Kratom that I use shared this message with us and I am going to copy it in its entirety below because linking is not enough for how crustially important this message is.

U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) Announces Plans to Ban Kratom’s Alkaloids in the United States

Posted by on 8/31/2016
A bit of shocking news has been announced by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA), which has announced that it plans to ban the active chemicals in kratom, a plant-based substance that’s native to Southeast Asia. In banning these active chemicals – alkaloids called mitragynine and 7-hydroxymitragynine – the DEA is in effect, banning kratom as all varieties of kratom contain these alkaloids (along with over 20 others.). DEA announced its plans to ban kratom, making it a “schedule I” drug as of September 30, 2016. This is said to be a “temporary” measure in an attempt to “avoid imminent hazard to the public safety.”Let’s take a look at some of the questions that you may have as a result of this announcement:

What is Kratom? How is Kratom Used?

Kratom (mitragyna speciosa) is a natural substance made from the leaves of the kratom tree, a member of the coffee tree family that is native to Southeast Asia. Some use kratom recreationally, but a vast majority of users use kratom to self-treat chronic pain, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia, and opiate withdrawal symptoms. It should be noted that kratom is not formally approved or recommended to treat any of these conditions due to a lack of research studies, but the anecdotal evidence is compelling.

In smaller dosages, kratom can have stimulant properties, while in larger quantities, kratom tends to have a more sedative effect. There is little, if any, evidence to suggest that kratom is any more addictive than coffee. Anecdotal evidence suggests it’s actually quite effective at helping opiate addicts move away from heavier drugs, toward a life of sobriety.

It is not uncommon for users to take kratom on a daily basis if they’re using kratom to self-treat an issue because most of these issues – such as anxiety or chronic pain – are long-duration or lifelong conditions.

The DEA’s Announcement Refers to Kratom as an Opiate. Is This Accurate?

No. Kratom is not an opiate, which is, by definition, a substance containing opium or derived from opium.

Kratom has opiate-like effects, but its active chemicals are alkaloids. These alkaloids, which include mitragynine and 7-hydroxymitragynine, act upon many of the same receptors in the brain that are impacted by opiates.

What is a Schedule I Drug?

The DEA classifies a Schedule I drug as one that has “a high potential for abuse” with “no accepted medical use in treatment in the United States and a lack of accepted safety for use under medical supervision.”

Other drugs in this class includes heroin, LSD, ecstasy and marijuana, amongst other substances.

How Long Can a Substance Be Listed Temporarily as a Schedule I Substance?

The DEA has the power to temporarily classify kratom as a Schedule I substance for up to two years.

What Happens Once Kratom’s Alkaloids Are Temporarily Listed as a Schedule I Substance?

Once mitragynine and 7-hydroxymitragynine are listed as Schedule I substances, it will become illegal to possess kratom or any synthetic substance containing those alkaloids (this is why the DEA added the alkaloids – instead of kratom – to the list of Schedule I substances, as it allows them to ban synthetic derivatives in addition to kratom leaf products.)

Typically, the temporarily banned substance is subjected to numerous research studies. If the study results reveal that there is no risk, then the item will be removed from the list of Schedule I substances. More often, though, the DEA finds study results that support its belief and the substance is permanently classified as a Schedule I substance.

Unfortunately, once an item is temporarily listed as a Schedule I substance, it becomes very challenging to conduct research studies. The temporary listing virtually always becomes permanent, demonstrating why it’s so important to take action now before the new classification goes into effect on September 30.

The DEA’s Announcement Implies that Kratom is Dangerous. Is This True?

The DEA cites a number of poison control calls involving kratom, but many claim that this is primarily due to U.S. medical professionals’ lack of familiarity with kratom. When medical professionals are unfamiliar with a substance that a patient has ingested, it is standard practice for them to reach out to poison control to determine how best to treat the patient.

In cases where a kratom user reported serious adverse effects, virtually all of these cases involved mixing kratom with another substance. This creates a synergistic effect and it also makes it challenging to determine which substance is responsible for the individual’s symptoms. It is widely considered impossible for a healthy user to experience a fatal overdose on kratom. When excessive amounts are consumed, nausea, vomiting and sedation are the typical effects.

What I Do To Help Prevent a Kratom Ban?

Now is the time to take action! The American Kratom Association’s founder, Susan Ash, has told multiple media outlets that she intends to challenge this matter in court. Measures may include seeking a temporary restraining order to halt the DEA’s move. There are also many online petitions seeking to keep kratom legal and to approve it as a dietary supplement.

You can also call and/or write your local lawmakers. Need help writing a letter? Check out our instructions here.


I apologize to my followers that the content of this post is mainly copy and paste but I do not feel able to express myself to the fullest without becoming overly emotional. I have been on a terrifying roller coaster ever since I received the news over a week ago. Being someone who personally does not have a substance abuse problem and takes their healthcare and disease VERY serisouly, I can honestly see why this is happening. People will always find a way to abuse what they can, even the most harmless of substances can become dangerous in the wrong hands and with the wrong combinations, but Kratom is Saving Lives and helping thousands of people in positive ways. Please please from the bottom of my swollen limbed, chronically fatigued, semi able bodied heart, take a moment to sign the petition that is linked about and share with others.


Thank you kindly for taking a moment to read this post.