Category Archives: Relationships

Tarot de las Sirenas

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Tarot de las Sirenas

When I began struggling to complete my usual morning meditations and affirmations, and I wasn’t able to find my own days direction within myself, I began pulling tarot to help guide and center me. All I had was an adorable Tiny Tarot deck and no knowledge to back anything up that I was doing. I began with three card pulls just to set my intentions and daily affirmations, and used the technique as a calming practice while I was traveling during the last month. My travels took me to New Orleans where I stumbled into Marie Laveau’s House of Voodoo. Without intention, my energy guided me directly to two items that I would never have normally selected to purchase on my own. I didn’t allow for thought, I only let my instincts guide me through the shop and spent more money than I ever do on myself in normal circumstances. My eyes and head wanted a different deck. My energy forced me to select the Tarot of Mermaids. I live on an island so I figured this was an appropriate deck for my surroundings and became curious to learn how the deck would guide me.

I normally love diving straight in to my new findings, but for some reason once purchased, I had no driving desire to even open the deck. I unpacked my entire travel bag and even left the unopened deck all alone in my backpack. I found it odd that I still didn’t want to touch them, but I know better than to question my instincts and knew when it was time I would know. This morning was the time, and the intention of my pull was not even for myself. A friend in need reached out to me with a simple “I feel like I need to see you soon…I’ve been feeling lots of different things lately, I just need to center myself again.”. This was a special woman who deserved a special pull from a special deck. Out came The Mermaid Tarot. I had two other close friends who reached out to me in different ways, but I could feel each of their individual stresses, anxieties, and needs. I made three separate pulls, and sent each of my friends the images and descriptions of what I pulled, allowing them to create their own interpretations.

I can not deny my energy’s strength. Without any knowledge of what I am doing, my pulls are always eerily and freakishly on point. Always. I’ve always known that we are all capable of greatness of different kinds, but I am only recently learning to toes the outer edges of my personal power. The least I can do is honor this process a little more fully by educating myself a little further. I did a little research just for some basic definitions and understanding of the deck that I was using. I didn’t want to much outside guidance to effect my own energy and instincts. Below I show my very first full tarot pull. Mermaids and Tritons show the human side, head and bust, hiding their true nature underwater, the fish shaped appearance. In the first 1-8 list, I listed the card spread diving meaning. In the second set of 1-8 I list my own personal pulls followed by the cards meaning with my own personal interpretations in parenthesis.

  1. Current Situation
  2. Abilities and strong points
  3. Question being examined, which could get out of control
  4. Weaknesses, bad habits. Revealed and submerged stomach
  5. Influences of others, aftermath of old problems
  6. How the situation could develop negatively  without necessary actions
  7. Which “boats” you should rock, what can be done, what must not be done
  8. Summary: sums up the meaning of the other 7 cards, what is obvious, what is hidden, guiding toward the end

 

My Personal Pull & Interpretations

  1. VIII Strength : moral strength, courage, ability to interact with others, ability to persuade, aptitude for work (I am currently at the top of my life game when it comes to my own energy and understanding of my capabilites. Others can feel my energy before they are aware of me or why they have the feels and I always try to use that power for good in aiding others)
  2. II High Priestess : mysteries of femininity, unexpected pregnancy, an unforeseen event, feelings sacrificed for reason, the pursuit of power, breaking rules, ability to judge, willingness to study (I was raised surrounded by men and tomboyish females with “male instincts”, only now in my thirties am I discovering the power of my femininity and learning about what it means to Be A Woman. I am learning to put my personal feelings to the back burner when the time calls for a level head. Some minor authority issues, yes, I’ll admit it. I have always loved to learn but have only recently began seeking out extra knowledge of all kinds on my own time)
  3. The Fool : eccentricity, unpredictability, psychological instability, desire to sidestep the rules, to escape from everyday routine, multiple professional skills, tendancy towards sexual freedom and erotic quirks, opportunism, willingness to be the center of attention, ambiguity (Rules are guidelines for those lacking instincts and intuition, life is not black & white, after celibacy throughout my twenties-my thirties are for discovering and owning my sexual freedom. I don’t enjoy being the center of attention, but I am willing to do so for good causes and inspiration for others. I am more than one, more than I, I am So Much in one human form)
  4. IV of Wands : refuge, accord, time to meet with success (the time is now, success of different kinds is coming my way faster than I can process)
  5. IV The Emperor : will, ability to control events and situations, ability to meditate as well as strength, virility, violent exercise of power (I used to let events control me, now I am in control of my universe. At times I forget what I am capable of and unintentionally and excessively exert my power)
  6. VII The Chariot : success, capacity to lead, ability to keep ones head above water, instinct (Whether I want to be or not, I am a leader. Completely comfortable being guided or a part of a group, but the group will always follow me and look to me for guidance. I am a source of calming strength to most that I know. Trusting my instincts has never ever steered me wrong and every time I used my head or heart instead I met disaster)
  7. Knight of Chalices : great passion, emotional turmoil, unfaithful lover, fickleness, whim, inconsistency (Passion in Everything that I do! I am an incredibly sensitive empath and before I was aware of what my energy was capable of used to deal with a lot of undisciplined emotions and feels. I have a unique experience and thought process behind sex/love/lovers/relationships/etc…we are not here to restrict or label each other, we are here to learn from and enjoy each other. I am not an unfaithful lover, I am open and honest with anyone who I chose to share the magic that comes along with sharing my body and energy with)
  8. I The Magician : skill, diplomacy, ability to astonish, capacity to seduce, enchantment (Sums up the meaning of my card pull and my currently life situations perfectly)

 

I am HOOKED. I love the individual magic behind tarot cards. Everyone could pull the same exact cards and come away with different interpretations suited to each individual moment and experience. Every card has a different meaning depending on its position, so you will get a unique and detailed perspective on your current situation. I made the mistake of getting too excited and offered readings to a few friends which I posted in my Instagram Story (Follow me on Instagram @gypsysugarcloud). I was swiftly contacted by others requesting readings and because I was in a learning, practicing, and giving state of mind, I allowed more of my energy to leak away than I had intended. I was not aware of what I was doing. What I was capable of. After four hours of readings I was overcome with an enormous wave of exhaustion. I looked in the mirror to see a wild eyed woman with crazy curls, huge dark circles, bags under my eyes, and an ache that was rapidly spreading through my entire body starting from my temples and reaching down to my ankles. Despite being well rested, taking my Kratom, and drinking my morning coffee, I felt like I had been awake for two days straight and had completed a triathlon. Now I know. I will not make that mistake again. I will never ever completely block my energy from others and vice versa, again because I have learned in the past how much that restricts my energy in other useful ways. I will, however, protect myself better the next time I read tarots for someone else other than myself. Energy is incredible stuff and we are all capable of so very much more than we realize. Proceed with caution anytime you are attempting to give or receive energy work of any kind because whether we are aware of it or not, our energy leaves stains and cords throughout everything that it touches. Blessings!

Hennessy is helping Mama recharge post reading. My dogs always join me during my energy work.

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Our Souls Connect Via Social Media

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Our Souls Connect Via Social Media

There are no words for the incredible timing of the magic of the universe….

A gift arrived in the mail yesterday with a note from someone that I have never met before but have become good friends with on Instagram (I never thought I would live in a world where that sentence is not only acceptable, but the norm). I love to give all things my proper attention, and since I was not ready to do so at the moment of the packages arrival, I set it to the side. A message came through my phone a moment later that rocked my sense of peace and calm. Someone who very recently caused my heart and soul an incredible amount of pain and confusion attempted to reopen a tiny line of communication. Since I was not ready to address my feelings or respond to the message, I decided to step out with a friend for a drink and distract my mind for a bit and address the situation at the later time. I returned home in a stronger state of mind and remembered the package that had arrived earlier in the day. The note included said:

“I know that you said you don’t need anything, which is great because this isn’t out of need. I send you this out of love. I recall you mentioning you were a healer, I love and accept your beauty, and am so lucky to have met you, even though it’s through Social Media for the time being. I am a lover and a giver. This comes from a genuine and appreciative place.”

I was hit by a smell that I could immediately place, and a sensation between my chest and throat that I could not. The wooden Om symbol smelled like the pure energy of selfless love. It wasn’t until I looked up the symbolic meaning of a Blue Lace Agate that the sensation in my chest became apparent. I was feeling the anxiety of too many words attempting to bubble up and burst out within me slowly simmer down into a gentle calm and find their proper place within my throat.

Blue Lace Agate is a throat chakra stone with a gentle energy and is considered a stone of communication. It can ease the harsh edge off communication in difficult times, enhance public speaking, and smooth discussions. It also brings tactfulness to speech and written communications. Blue Lace Agate brings calm and tranquility, a lessening of anger, even deep rooted anger issues, and a calming of nervousness. It is considered a happiness stone from these harmonious energies it carries, as well as one of hope. It is also a stone that aids in inflammatory and arthritic conditions, which I suffer greatly from. My friend from a far could not have chose a more appropriate stone and timing to gift it to me. I sit here and wonder how she did it, but then again I know better than that. The energy of the universe did it, we were merely the receiving messengers of this beautiful moment and lesson.

Social Media and the role it plays on our daily lives and relationships has been a strong topic of conversation all around me this year. In addition to promoting my individual businesses, I mainly utilize my social media feeds as a platform for inspiration and positivity. It took me a long time to get comfortable with who I was and my purpose in this world, and learning to share my experiences in order to give others a sense of peace, support, and community was part of that process. I am so blessed that I have an outlet to shine my light onto and that my light is accepted so openly and lovingly by so many people. I am proud that my tiny actions have drawn other amazingly compassionate warriors towards each other and into my own direction as well. I am grateful to be a gentle member of this technologically advanced generation at times like these. This moment of the selfless giving of such great love is the very reason that I share my heart and soul with others. This is what I live for. This moment right here is a shining example of the beautiful connection that social media can bring to our lives if we use it respectfully. Live gently, love strongly, and pay the gift of life forward every single day that you are blessed to do so.

 

“Life. Love. It took me and it shook me and it broke me and it woke me and it made me into a woman. The bigger the death, the bigger the birth and as my life unfolds on this earth I can say that I love, I love being a woman. The more your heart breaks, the more it can hold. So be brave, my sister, be bold. And the bigger your heart, the greater your power and now, now is the feminine’s hour. The world is starved, its ravenous for you, and we need all the hearts on deck if we’re going to make it through. So go ahead, do your part, offer your heart and the world’s starving alter. Go ahead, shine till the stars shake. Go ahead, may the world wake in your wake.”

Snapchat VS Instagram Stories

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Snapchat VS Instagram Stories

Those of you who utilize social media apps re probably already more than aware of the launching of Instagram’s “Stories” back on August 2, 2016 and have also probably heard both sides of people’s opinions between the new Snapchat Clone called Instagram Stories. I have avoided getting involved in any of these opinions until I sat back and was able to observe the differences and people’s responses for a little while. I first began social media networks as a lonely teenager who found a way to connect with people that I would normally not have to courage to talk to. I remained at home a lot and had created a life for myself that satisfied most of my social needs by using MySpace, and later transitioning into Facebook. I did not get into the Instagram craze until early 2014 while I was working jobs worthy enough to want to share with others and promote for. I never really took social media networks seriously until I began getting involved with marketing and promoting for companies that I was a part of. The lines between my “work” and play life posts began to blur around May 2015 when I stepping into a long distance relationship and found another benefit for social media.

While the Pros far outweighed the Cons for using SM networks and apps, my data bill is not as pleased as the rest of me. I live on an island, which already makes for multiple points against my data plan to begin with due to hurricanes, storms, and lack of cell towers and just island life in general. The second factor working against me is that I work from home and all of my businesses are ran from my phone or computer, so having access to the Internet and Wifi is a MUST. The second month that I ran over my data plan four times I began doing some research to see what I could do besides altering my data plan to reduce usage. My findings pleased me greatly because there is in fact Lots you can do to reduce your usage! I will let someone else who already did the full research explain the details better to you….

Kerry Flynn wrote an article about Snapchat’s Data Usage and in it she mentions that Snapchat accounts for about 75% of our data usage and she lays out specifics about what we are actually using from our data plans when we send messages: Here’s The Crazy Amount of Cellular Data Snapchat Uses and How To Stop It 

If you don’t want to read the full article (if you are using Snapchat you Should though!) below I copied a few key points that the author laid out.

“For reference, 1 GB = 1000 MB = 1,000,000 KB. A 1 GB data plan on AT&T costs $25 per month

As a user, sending a message:

  • Sending A Text Message: 20.1 KB
  • Sending A Picture Message: 13.0 KB (5-second photo to one person); 15.6 (5-second photo to two people)
  • Sending A Video Message: 1.9 MB (10-second video)

As a recipient, receiving a message:

  • Viewing A Text Message: 17.3 KB
  • Viewing A Picture Message: 867 KB (10-second photo)
  • Viewing A Video Message: 891 KB (10-second video)

Beyond one-to-one messaging:

  • Viewing Snapchat ‘Our Story’: 679 KB (46 seconds of Tuesday’s Berlin story) 
  • Viewing Snapchat Discover: 2.7 MB (30 seconds of using CNN)

After a few minutes of using Snapchat, we had gone through 7 MB of data, or 0.7% of a 1 GB per month data plan. For further comparison, 1 GB would be about 100,000 photos, or  1000 videos, or 1000 views of “Our Story,” or 400 uses of Discover. Another striking note was that going in and out of Snapchat causes data usage to spike. After taking a 10-second picture message and leaving the app, usage was 124 KB. Then 197 KB. And then 240 KB. That’s because the app is can continuous run in the background. Users can limit that drainage by deselecting background running. For Android, go to “Settings > Data Usage > Snapchat > Restrict Background Data’. For iPhone, go to ‘Settings > General > Background App Refresh > toggle off Snapchat.”


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I made the necessary changes, but during my research I began questioning why I was using Snapchat at all if it was costing me this much extra effort. I do 99% of my marketing and advertising for my businesses on Instagram, I don’t even utilize Facebook the way that I used to these days. My only use for Snapchat these days is to feel like I am still connected to my Partner overseas, and more times than not it can cause more issues than make me feel loved or special. So why am I being to stubborn about making the switch from Snapchat to Instagram Stories? I don’t like change and need facts before I can commit to a change I can believe in, and I do believe I have enough information now to feel comfortable about making the switch. 

Ironically it was an article titled: Instagram’s Snapchat Clone Has Shown Little Sign of Hurting Snapchat Just Yet that swayed me to finally make the decision to leave Snapchat. The author of the article, Lara O’Reilly made some good points about Snapchat being the most popular app among teens in the country and  that for brands, Instagram houses a more sophisticated advertising and analytics platform than Snapchat currently offers. Those two factors right there combined with the excessive data usage that Snapchat sucks up is why I am getting prepared to announce that I will officially be leaving Snapchat as of September 9th. What’s the significance behind the date you’re probably wondering…..My Love Is Finally Coming Home!!!! Snapchat was fun while it lasted but in all honesty the app has not benefited my life or businesses in any significant way, so it is time to downsize my data usage. You can follow me on Instagram and watch my Story as I bumble along getting used to the new features and sharing my island life and adventures with  you all!

 

Personal Isla Gypsy Adventures: GypsySugarCloud

Airbnb & Tour Guided Island Adventures: BeachGoddessAirbnb

Crochet Etsy Page: GypsySugarCrochet 

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The Kübler-Ross Model In Everyday Life

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The Kübler-Ross Model In Everyday Life

The Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, suggests a series of emotions experienced by survivors of an intimate’s death. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. These are a collation of five common experiences for the bereaved that can occur in any order, if at all. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.

We have all experienced different sorts of grievances, and even have different definitions as to what grief means to us. Whether I show it in my daily actions or not, I am incredibly sensitive. Not sensitive in the “everyone is being mean to me so I’m going to throw a hissy fit and pout whoa-is-me, eye-for-an-eye” sort of way. I am more along the lines of a, “everyone is being mean to me, to each other, and to this earth and I can not take the careless, selfish, negative energy any longer so I’m going to take a step back from everyone and heal my own energies”. Even the smallest of slights can disturb me greatly enough to throw my energy completely off balance for as short as a brief second or a long as several days. I have always felt that these five stages can be applied to any type of grief, not just in the event of a loss due to death. I added my own personal grieving thought process below in parenthesis as a further example.

The Five Stages of Grief (The Kübler-Ross Model)

Denial: In this stage individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality. (Personal denial that people could even treat me so cruelly and disrespectfully in the first place, there must have been a miscommunication somewhere along the line. It Must be a mistake.)

Anger: When we recognize that denial cannot continue and something must give, we can become frustrated, especially at the people closest to us. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; ‘”Who is to blame?”; “Why would this happen?” Anger is usually coupled with blame because it is in our nature to sort out the Why behind our life happenings. (Anger that people could be so carelessly cruel at times without any regard to how their actions are affecting others. How do you sleep at night knowing what you did? How do I keep this anger from leeching into everything else in my life at this very moment? And Dammit how dare anything anger me to this extent in the first place, I thought I was better than that, stronger than that!)

Bargaining: Involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise.(Bargaining with myself that if maybe I changed my actions then I will be treated differently. Treated with more compassion and respect, maybe, hopefully, possibly. That’s it, I’ll change, because obviously somehow this was my fault so it is my responsibility to fix it.)

Depression: The individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen. (Although I despise the word Depression, I will leave it so; Depression at the knowledge that some people just aren’t compassionate by nature and have to be told how to be nice and help others. Depression at having to explain myself, depression that the people who say they care don’t care enough to remember what I need when I need it. It saddens me greatly that I have not found more people that live by what they say when it comes to compassion and understanding.)

Acceptance: “It’s going to be okay.” “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.” In this final stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable futures. Acceptance typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the situation, and a stable condition of emotions. ( I can accept that this life is what it is and people are who they are. I can not change others, or this entire world, but I can control my own actions and how I live by example. I can always trust the peace and happiness that I have created inside of me.)   

One of the most common concerns I hear from grieving folks (myself included) is that too many people just don’t seem to know what to say to them, and end up either making inappropriate remarks or avoiding them altogether.  This can result in the griever feeling further isolated and unsupported. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a small tiff with a friend, or the rude actions of a stranger that triggers the feelings inside of you, grief is grief and no one should have to validate their feelings for the comfort of others around them. Fortunately talking to grieving people does not have to be as complicated or confusing as people seem to think. Refer back to one of my later blog posts that I wrote about The Art of Communicating Through Grief for more details on exactly just how to help someone through any difficult situation they may be experiencing. 

I have come to realize that you can not always expect compassion and understanding from others if you do not practice it first in your own home and heart. There were a series of small incidents that happened to me in a row that triggered my latest bout of Grief Hibernation. Each slight was individually small enough to look past, but combined together I felt personally attacked in every way possible to the point where I called a Life Time Out so that I could heal. Part of what helped bump me back on track was writing my feelings out on paper so I could better sort the thoughts in my head. I took time with myself to purge my negative thoughts, realign my chakras, sweat it out, and think about everything But what had triggered my original upset. When I started to feel “normal” again and the residual bitterness faded I was able to write objectively so that I could share my thoughts openly. When I grieve, I retreat to heal myself, so that I can be strong enough to help heal others later, but my goal and intent is to one day be able to feel comfortable with my grief while having a proper support system available to me so that I do not feel so alone in my journey. I yearn for compassionate understanding without explanation, kind words without being prompted, strength from my loved ones, and silent hugs without having to request them. I don’t know how it is for others, but when I am upset a part of me feels like I am 6yrs old again and craving my parents comfort or something comparable. I am human, I falter in my own practices from time to time, but one day I hope to become a better Griever.

 

 

The Art of Communicating Through Grief

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The Art of Communicating Through Grief

I very recently had someone I love very dearly go through a family loss and I was not able to be by their side for support. We are so connected that I could feel their grief from a distance and so I spent the week doing all that I could to send that person love, energy, distractions, and support from a far. By the end of the week they made a small comment about how every time they started to feel sad and overwhelmed I had somehow done something to distract them and completely take their mind off their grief for the moment. It was the biggest compliment I could have been given, because I was in fact working very hard to both honor and aid in the distraction of their grief, and it felt amazing to know that my efforts had been noticed and appreciated. It also reminded me of my own experiences with grief and the moments of both solitude and connection that I felt at different times throughout.

I know a great deal about first hand personal grief, and about the residual effects that come with the territory of being an empath and being overly sensitive to all kinds of emotions. Unfortunately, it is always easier to help others than it is to help yourself. Me personally, I recognize that I push the people that I love away even though I want them near during my toughest struggles and darkest days of grief. I do not want people to see me during what I see as moments of weakness. I am working on changing that way of thinking by trying to be honest with myself about what it is I am actually expecting from people during my moments of grief. Reading the book The Art of Communication by Thich Nhat Hanh is another step that I am taking towards growing and self enlightenment. My goal is to help both myself and the ones that I love communicate better, and in turn be a better friend to those who may need compassionate support through any rough patches of life that might arise.

Everyone has different needs and expectations during their grieving experiences. What ever caused the loss, hurt, or sadness, whether it be a new or old event, will always have an effect on the griever. Raw open wounds and reminders of old hurts will sometimes trigger us to act in ways that could push those closest to us away when in fact what we want is the very opposite. Some, myself included, say that we want comfort yet act in ways that push people away from us instead of encouraging the compassionate responses we want. So how can we help ourselves communicate better, and help each other through difficult times? For some, actions speak louder than words, while others need to hear the words spoken in order to trust the actions.

The often repeated obligatory phrases “There is a reason for everything” “I’m sorry for your loss” “Things will get better” or even a simple “Are you Ok?” can be aggravating to the griever when said at the wrong time. When in the position of wanting to help a friend or loved one in grief, often times our first desire is to try to “fix” the situation, when in all actuality our good intentions can lead to nothing but more grief. Knowing the right thing to say is only half of the responsibility of being a supportive emotional caregiver. The first thing to remember when helping someone through their pain is that this grief is not your own. This is not about you and your feelings so please try not to allow them to get in the way of helping your grieving friend in need.  Take the time to understand and show proper respect to your friend’s grief and feelings. Allow the griever to set the pace. Hopefully they will give you subtle hints about what is needed if they are unable to come right out and ask for help. Some may need a distraction, some may crave solitude, some may need a partner to make them not feel alone as they face their grief head on and embrace the feelings, while some actually need a healthy balance of both.

If your friend or loved one needs a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend, make them feel heard and respond in kind. Being able to just sit and listen is an amazing gift to give someone in need, but being able to give a heartfelt response of some kind is even more helpful. If a distraction is needed use your best judgement as to what type of distraction is most appropriate for the moment. If you can help be a distraction in person go somewhere fun, it’s alright to laugh during times of grief. Laughter is the best medicine, but you also don’t want your timing to ever be tacky or disrespectful. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after. Laughter boosts the immune system, decreases stress hormones, increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease also. Bonus! Go see a movie or do something educational so you have to use your brain in other ways than focusing on your grief. If you can not be there in person for your friend in need there are still lots of ways you can help someone get through their time of grief from a distance. Send pictures, links to jokes, share articles that you enjoy, challenge with brain teasers, and utilize everything that you can to connect and distract in anyway that you can.

There is a super cute article that lays out six simple tips on how to be a good friend. Listen, Ask them what they need, Get physical, Keep in touch, and Tell them how you feel. You can read the entire article here: How To Be A Good Friend

I am only a few chapters into The Art of Communication and already everything that I am reading is vibing with my current thoughts and situations, educating me, and healing me. My favorite part of tonight’s readings went as follows:

“What you read and write can help you heal, so be thoughtful about what you consume. When you write an e-mail or a letter that is full of understanding and compassion, you are nourishing yourself during the time you write that letter. Even if it’s just a short note, everything you are writing down can nourish you and the person to whom you are writing.”

I loved that section so very much because that it is a practice I use myself to get through moments of difficulty. If yourself or someone you care about it grieving the best thing that you could do is put pen to paper and fill the pages with words of understanding, compassion and love. Using phrases like “I don’t know how you feel but I am here to help” or “I wish I had the right words, just know that I care” might possibly do more to soothe a grievers distressed mind than declaring that you “know how they feel” or advising to “be strong”. We all have moments of grief throughout our lives, it is inevitable. It is important to be honest with yourself when you are feeling sad, own it, embrace it, then move past into the light so that you are able to help someone else with your strength. 

Long Distance Love

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Long Distance Love

Together forever, never apart. Sometimes in distance but never in heart.

A Long Distance relationship means a romantic relationship between two people who live far apart and so are unable to meet on a frequent basis. I am learning that distance is what you make it to be. In this day and age we have so many means of remaining connected, and we are each responsible for our own individual feelings and how we handle them.

Being a part of a long distance relationship is one of the most difficult hurdles that I have had to face so far in this life. You have the sensation that you are on pause. As if you are frozen in time waiting for the moment that your partner returns to your side and thaws you out, making you feel whole again. Tidal waves of emotions of all shapes and colors rock your boats in a constant attempt to sink your battleships. Being a part of a long distance relationship can be both beautiful and devastating that the same time. At times it makes me feel like a walking contradiction. Experiencing loneliness when surrounded by people, becoming upset about things that have never bothered me before, getting my first real bitter taste of irrational jealousy and feeling insecure and unsure despite my strong feelings of self love and faith in both mine and my partner’s instincts and intentions.
While being away from each other is one of the hardest things we have had to get through, the benefits of finding the connection that we did and fully embracing the love that we have for each other makes any struggles we are each experiencing more than worth it. There is nothing more amazing than the feeling of comfort, of finding a forever home in the person you want to share every detail about the rest of your life with. With My Love in my life, I literally feel like SuperWoman meets Robin Hood meets Pinky & The Brain. We are Light, energy, connection, communication, growth, teaching, sharing, giving, creating, conquering, nurturing, LOVE! We are dynamic as a unit. We are unstoppable together. All of that is well worth the price we currently pay of 5,798miles of distance between us.

I will not land on the other side of this particular hurdle until my partner has returned home for good and we can proceed to make plans as a unit, but I have given myself permission to “unfreeze” myself and enjoy life again until my love returns home. We both still have a duty and desire to make each other proud in our everyday actions and intentions. We are dedicated to learning more about each others needs and our own expectations. We are far from perfect but we are open and honest and growing better at this every day. I have never met someone who makes me feel more respected and loved than the person that the universe destined me to fall in love with and I will honor the universe in kind for the gift it has given us. I have had to remind myself that our current distance situation is not permanent, almost over in fact, and I have Lots to do!

I have businesses to run, bills to pay, friendships to maintain, adventures to seek, gardens to grow, and art to create.

I am working on a garden project with vines and natural mosquito repellents to give us balcony privacy and shelter us in green love.

I am taking extra care with the tomato plants that My Love likes to snack on.

I am taking each day as it comes with an end date as a gentle reminder in the back of my mind.

Life must go on with or without my mate by my side.

I am happy and loved and we will be reunited once again very soon!

Ashe

 

Long Distance Love Reunited in Puerto Rico

Long Distance Love Reunited in Puerto Rico

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I Can Feel You Through My iPhone

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Any relationship takes work but long distance relationships do not work if both people are not equally committed. A study by Cornell University revealed that while couples in a “normal” relationship tend to have more daily interactions than couples in a long-distance relationship, the couples who had hundreds of miles in between them tend to have longer, more meaningful conversations. It has been proven that Long-distance couples try harder than geographically close couples in communicating affection and intimacy, and their efforts do pay back. I can honestly say that I am giving more of myself and my efforts than I have ever given any relationship that I have been in, not just because of our distance, but because I know they are TheOne, and all of our efforts are worth it.

Miles apart and Bae keeps repeating “communication is all we have. I think to myself, but we have So much more, we have memories, we have love, we have connection, we have a future. I hear the words loud and clear though, I understand and respect their desire to remain connected through all forms of communication. They are far better than I at living in the present moment and helping me see the value in doing so, more and more every day. I work through my days, party through my nights, but every now and then a stray emotion or three slithers through my barriers and I can tangibly feel our distance. Like a radar inside of me bleeping, reminding me of every single island, wave, mile, and hour we are apart. Most days I suck it up and work my tail feathers off, but the pain of missing My Other Whole feels just as honorable as the beauty of being in love. So I embrace it, and I give them all the communication that they desire while we are apart.
I was gifted with an old fashion soul mate who has high expectations, a penchant for hand written letters and appreciates filter free conversations just as much as I. We are a rare breed. Alas, we are also children of the 21st century. In appreciation of, but not slaves to, the instant gratification that modern technology can provide. I’ll be the first to admit, text messages, audio messages, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook have been key contributors to keeping me united with the one I love overseas. There are times that I feel like I can actually Feel MyLove through my iphone. The text bubbles in imessage give me real time, I know they are there. Hand is on their phone, I know exactly how they hold it, palms clasped around the base, thumbs quick at work on the touch screen. The second the message comes through I can picture MyLove’s thumb tapping the blue highlighted SEND with a little smirk on that gorgeous face that I love so much.

There are times that I find myself unable to put my phone down because I have become addicted to seeing notifications coming through my phone, only looking for one name in particular. I can see the text bubbles or the “Is Typing…” notification and I know I am not alone. 3,603 Miles apart yet I feel like my love is right There! As if I could push my finger through my touchscreen and caress their face, feel their touch, smell their scent. I would give anything to do so, but for now, this will have to satisfy. I can feel MyLove through my iPhone.
Anyone familiar with Snapchat knows that things can get real naughty real quick, but you can also get goofy and sentimental. Being in a long distance relationship I can fully understand the benefits of the App, especially with the updated Live Feed feature, similar to FaceTiming. New messaging and video chat features were added to Snapchat allowing users to send text to other users and save text messages by clicking on them. A crucial aspect of the update is the “Here” sign that can subtly appear at any moment as a blue bubble in your chat window. The bubble pulsates softly to inform a user that a friend is also available to engage in a video chat—video chatting (the live feed feature I mentioned earlier) can only occur between users who are concurrently using the app. When the Here button is held down, a live video chat function is immediately launched. Regarding the Here function, Spiegel (Snapchats creator) explained: “The accepted notion of an online indicator that every chat service has is really a negative indicator. It means ‘my friend is available and doesn’t want to talk to you,’ versus this idea in Snapchat where ‘my friend is here and is giving you their full attention.”

Just the sight of the blue button, whether it is pulsating or not gives me comfort that my love is there. Not beside me, and no where nearby, but There where ever that may be. I have their undivided attention for the moment, and I can feel them through my iPhone. For that moment, Nothing else exists but me, my love, that mesmerizing blue pulsating button, and the connection that it gives us. Comfort washes over me and instantly I feel like I can handle this distance between us and anything else that life throws our way. When you find your forever soul mate every thing that you do is worth every effort that you make. I know the long distance will not always be an issue in my relationship, so for now, I am grateful for the technology that I normally take such great pains to avoid.

Until my love is in my arms again, I can feel them through my iPhone.