Category Archives: Happiness

I Never Give Up, I Give In

I Never Give Up, I Give In

Nothing has gone “right” or as expected these past three weeks, luckily I let go of the wheel and allowed the universe take over 17 days ago so it’s been nothing more than a beautiful ride. The universe has a completely different design in mind for me right now and that’s fine by me, I trust the energy taken and given will be put to good use. I create everything and anything into existence and I truly believe that it is my positive thought process that makes me so blessed and successful in life.

Each day I go to sleep with closure meditations and reawaken to the clean slate of a completely new day full of brand new possibilities being created into existence. Last night I knew I would have to wake up with the sun with so much to get done so I set my intentions before bed and slept peacefully, charging up as much energy as possible.  I woke minutes before my alarm, my brain cranking long before my feet hit the floor. So much happening so fast that I can barely hang on – so I don’t – I let go and trust. I counted my spoons (The Spoon Theory), grabbed my list of lists, kissed my fur kids (the count is currently at three), cranked the car stereo and hit the road to the old Bumble Bee Tuna Factory (Check out a previous blog post I had written about exploring this cool abandoned factory: Isla Adventure Squad: Bumble Bee Tuna Factory) to take my best buddy David to work. The Clean Ocean Initiative Project is full systems a-go so there are new rules involving security all around the factory. I signed in and walked up to the main office to shoot the shit with the boys a bit before everyone got into their work flow and I had to rush off to tend to my own day. New baby goats were born at the factory about an hour before we arrived on the scene, which happens almost monthly now it seems like and I’m pretty positive they are all family in every way.

The two new babies still had the umbilical cords dragging as the little ones tested their knees and elbows weeble wooble so I snapped a few pictures, oohed and ahhed a bit and then hit the road.

I had to schedule special time this morning to call my Papa and give him updates on all the things happening with and around me.  My father is my best friend and our energy is always and forever connected, our blessing and our curse. When he is happy, I am happier, so in a way, my forever desire to make my Papa happy is slightly selfish. Full grown grateful Daddy’s Girl. I left myself exactly half an hour for the phone call, multi tasking with making myself a proper breakfast to fuel me up for the day. Our phone call lasted longer than intended as we gossiped like a couple of high school girls. His happy energy lifted my spirits even higher than I thought was possible for this day though and I was left literally pacing around my living room as energy and thoughts ricocheted all around and through me.

By noon I had handled my morning inversion and yogance workout, made all personal calls and returned all business emails, arranged an elopement for my Airbnb guests, bought my neighbors bicycle to add to my Airbnb stash of guest toys, returned a dog crate to the store, dropped off loads of clothes to donate, prepped lunch smoothies, drank too much coffee, walked fed and cleaned up after all three dogs and contemplated bathing them all but instead bathed myself because I needed it just as bad as they did and can not excuse my stench as adorably as my cuddly squad can. I was avoiding making commitments with three different friends who wanted me to step away for three different fun activities, until I could take a moment to rewrite up my days must do list, re count my spoons and be honest with myself about what I could handle for the rest of the day. Things are constantly and forever altering throughout my days and life so I have learned to be entirely flexible in every way. By the time I received the fourth call from the fourth friend requesting a fourth activity I threw my hands up, kicked my feet back, shredded my list and yelled out Fine Universe You WIN! For all my intents and purposes of remaining business minded today, everything around me is screaming go out and play. Such is island life, it’s super cute that I still try to act like I’m mainland minded from time to time though.

So, the laundry is drying, the guests have all been tended to, my casita is tidy, my calendars are in order, my belly is full, and I am sitting here recharging and recollecting some extra spoons for the remainder of this day that could go anyway. Right this second my biggest concern is whether I’m going to go swimming with Rafa, drink wine and laugh/cry about how much we missed each other with Crystal, go Playuela camping with Natalie and crew, or vibe out on the beach with Kris & Ari while burning palo santo and catching up on our time apart. I don’t feel one bit rushed anymore even though I want to do all the things. I am sitting here completely grounded and centered knowing that my people are all out there waiting to give me hugs and help me relax even deeper. I trust that all will get done and I will be exactly where I need to be when each moment is right. My body is at a stand still right this second but my heart is fluttering around with so much happiness I could burst from the feels. I never give up but will always give in to the universes design.


(The Very Second that I finished typing up this blog post, Kris & Ari magically appeared unexpectedly at my door and I jumped up with a shriek to give them sweaty island hugs and kisses!! My bro babes are here and it’s time to play, catch you all on the flip side!)




Inn Saei: The Sea Within

Inn Saei: The Sea Within

I’m going to change the world. In fact, I’m already in the process of changing it. You’re going to help me. We’re all going to do it together. All you have to do, is trust yourself.

I have always known that my purpose in this life is to help to change the world in some way. I had no idea how, I just knew that I was special, needed, and important to this world. We all are uniquely important. My belief has always been that when you put a certain energy out into the world it effects others around you, giving that energy even greater life force. If enough people start to believe what you put out there, that thing will eventually start to happen and become even more real.

I just finished watching an amazing documentary called Inn Saei, that proved to me that we are truly in the midst of a great change happening. Inn Saei: The Power of Intuition, reminds us of the importance of stepping within ourselves and to listen and trust our instincts. Our intuition allows us to get back in touch with nature and regain connection with the energy of our true selves. In a world that is constantly moving faster, it is essential for us to find ways to slow ourselves down and look within so that we don’t miss the important moments and lessons that life has to offer us.

Inn Saei has many meanings such as The Sea Within, To See Within, and To See From The Inside Out. In the documentary, two Icelandic cultural entrepreneurs set out on a global journey to uncover the art of connecting within. They speak with a wide range of people, from artists and scientists, to African tribe Elders and school children. The most inspiring and emotional segment of the documentary was when we meet an extraordinary group of British schoolchildren who are learning how to better cope in today’s world by unlocking the power of nature and mindfulness. We meet a boy named Shyloh with anger issues, who with the help of a program being used in his school called Mind Up, learned how to cope with his own anger issues and deal with life situations in peaceful ways by learning how to listen to and trust his intuition. Overtime his own actions encouraged his family to make small changes in their own behavior, and so the cycle of mindful change begins.

Mind Up is the signature program of The Hawn Foundation, created by Goldie Hawn thirteen years ago, which is serving nearly 1 million children in the US, Canada, UK, Serbia, Mexico, Hong Kong, Australia and New Zealand. The program helps bring a solution to our children who were suffering from high levels of stress and who were completely lacking the skills to navigate in a complex world. The skills and the mindfulness practices that are being taught within this program has helped children improve learning and academic performance and learn valuable social-emotional skills that build personal resilience for a lifetime. The Mind Up program is available to therapists, camp counselors, and parents at home as well as for school teachers and administrators. By using Mind Up, people all over the world are benefiting from better communication, reduced stress, better sleep, more compassionate home relationships, improved family harmony and more. It is such a beautiful program and the more I talk about it with others the more hope I gain for our future.

I have inserted a link to the Mind Up website below so that you can read up more about the program if you would like. I have already spread the word about this program to a few of my friends with children and am super curious to find out who already knows about it and what schools are already using these practices within their lessons. If you know of any schools currently using the Mind Up program please leave a comment below!

Mind Up: A Framework For Success In Learning And In Life


One of the greatest dangers of losing touch with intuition is, that we lose the ability of empathy and the ability of coping with our own feelings. Children have to learn how to interact in a world full of technical gadgets but also full of human beings. We tend to forget that sometimes. This world is forever changing and with it, so must we. For so long I have felt so out of place for being overly sensitive and intuitive and longed to be a part of a world that cherished and respected those that led with an empathetic nature. For the first time in my life, I do not feel alone in my ways of thinking. I am surrounded by passionate and positive minded people who are empowering and inspiring all around them to make positive changes in their actions and ways of thinking as well. Inn Saei is a beautiful reminder of the importance of finding calm moments in the midst of world wide noise. Let go of the chaos. Listen to the voice inside of you. Trust yourself.

The Hero Within (Part I)

The Hero Within (Part I)

We experience an incredible amount of stimulation in every single moment. Struggling to find understanding and retain lessons learned from beautiful words we have read among the rest of our internal clutter can at times cause us to miss the message or forget things we have been taught and have learned. I began a journal solely for the purpose of writing notes as I read for my own memories purpose and to further integrate my readings into my heart and intentions. It was not until I shared my notes with a dear friend that I realized how helpful my “Cliffs Notes” of sorts, from these inspirational books can be to others. Cliffs Notes, or merely bullet points, whatever you may call this, it is an incredibly calming an inspirational practice for me.  I have not added my own interpretations that are scribbled throughout my journal, as to not sway anyone else’s possible interpretations and allow each of your your own space and energy to do with these words as you please along your journey. I hope you enjoy.

The Hero Within (Carol S. Pearson)


The point is that we can be safe and at home in our own psyches, and we need not spend years studying psychology to be able to converse with ourselves. We know the language of the archetypes, for they live within us. Ancient folk also knew the language. For them, the archetypes were the gods and goddesses who were concerned with everything in their lives from the most ordinary to the most profound.

Archetype psychology, in a sense, brings back insights from ancient polytheistic theologies, which teach us about the wonderfully multiple nature of the human psyche. When these deities, or archetypes, are denied, they do not go away. Instead they posses us, and what we experience is enslavement, not the liberation they ultimately hold out to us. So be aware of scorning the gods, for ironically, it is our very attempts to deny and repress the gods that cause their destructive manifestations. The archetypes are fundamentally friendly. They are here to help evolve us, collectively and individually. In honoring them we grow.

Chapter 1: The Hero’s Journey

  • The Innocent: lives in the prefallen state of grace
  • The Orphan: confronts reality of The Fall
  • The Wanderer: begins the task of finding oneself apart from others
  • The Warrior: learns to fight to defend oneself and to change the world
  • The Martyr: learns to give, to commit, to sacrifice for others

  • Heros take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves. Although the may feel  very alone during the quest, at its end their reward is a sense of community: with themselves, with other people, with the earth.
  • If we do not risk, if we play prescribed social roles instead of taking our journeys, we feel numb; we experience a sense of alienation, a void, an emptiness inside.
  • Heroism is a matter of integrity, of becoming more and more yourself at each stage of your development.
  • It is the very act of leaving an oppressive situation and going out alone to face the unknown that is the wanderer’s heroic act
  • After learning to change ones environment by great discipline, will, and struggle, the Magician learns to move with the energy of the universe and to attract what is needed by laws of synchronicity, so that the ease of the Magician’s interaction with the universe seems like magic.
  • The task is not to be caring of others instead of thinking about oneself, but to learn how to love and care for ourselves as well as our neighbor (6/2/6)
  • Beyond strength vs weakness, they become to understand that assertions and receptivity are yang and yin – a life rhythm, not a dualism (6/3/2)
  • Male and female modes of heroism seem different because men linger longer in some stages and women in others (7/1/1)
  • Women seem to linger in the stages that emphasize affiliation (Martyr & Magician) and men in those that emphasize separateness and opposition (Wanderer & Warrior). (7/3/1)
  • When we look at where most men and women are, without seeing the overall developmental pattern, it may look as if there are distinct and different male and female paths. Or, if one looks just at the paths and not the different time and intensity of commitment to each archetype, it appears that men and women are developmentally the same. Neither is true. Men and women are developmentally the same; and they are different (7/3/3)
  • What if the goal of life is not to prevail, simply to learn? (9/4/2)
  • Heroism is redefined as not only moving mountains, but knowing mountains: being fully oneself and seeing, without denial, what is, and being open to learning the lessons life offers us. (10/1/1)
  • I would illustrate the typical hero’s progression as a cone or three-dimensional spiral, in which it is possible to move forward while frequently circling back (13/2/2)
  • Each stage has its own lesson to teach us, and we reencounter situations that throw us back into prior stages so that we may learn and relearn the lessons at new levels of intellectual and emotional complexity and subtlety. (13/2/3)
  • Events in our lives influence the order and intensity of our learning (13/3/8)

Hero Lessons
  • Innocent: the hero learns to trust
  • Orphan: the hero learns to mourn
  • Wanderer: the hero learns to find and name one’s own truth
  • Warrior: the hero learns to assert that truth so that it affects and changes the world
  • Martyr: the hero learns to love, to commit, to let go
  • Magician: the hero learns to recognize and receive the abundance of the universe

  • As Magicians, heros understand that nothing essential is ever lost: sacrifice becomes the organic and gentle letting go of the old to make way for new growth, new life (15/3/5)
  • This is the time to take a leap of faith, act authentically now, and contribute your own truth to the world without insisting others agree with you. (17/4/3)
  • Trusting yourself and your own process means believing that your task is to be fully yourself and that if you are, you will have everything you genuinely need for your soul’s growth (18/1/1)
  • Recognize that what you want and what you need often are not the same and it is quite rational to trust the universe, God, or your higher self and let go. (18/1/3)
  • As you change and grow, a few people may always drift away, but your compensation is that gradually you will attract to you people who have mastered more of the skills you have and hence there can be more appreciation and reciprocity between you. (19/1/1)
  • “Power over” is dependent upon fear and belief in scarcity – that there is not enough, so we must all compete for it. (24/2/2)
  • No matter how much we are loved, until we are ready to let it in, we will feel lonely. (24/2/2)
  • Ultimately, there is no way to avoid a hero’s quest. It comes and finds us if we do not move out bravely to meet it…..the only way out is through. (24/4/1)


The chapters that follow describe the archetypes and the stages of awareness the hero encounters in exploring each one. The pattern described is schematic, however, so it is important to recognize while reading it that people do not go through these stages in lockstep. If you are inspired to pick up your own copy of The Hero Within I would Love it if you could comment below, and if you’re diggin my bullet points let me know and I will continue sharing my journal notes with you all. I am always interested in other people’s journeys and interpretations, I am available to anyone who feels the urge to reach out and connect. This book has been incredibly inspirational to me and I hope that my efforts in sharing this touches just one person if not many.

Pay it forward. Share your story. Spread the love.

Shut Up And Hug Me, Dr’s Orders

Shut Up And Hug Me, Dr’s Orders

Every time I get upset or overwhelmed a voice repeatedly whispers in my head, ” I just need a hug. I just need a hug. I Just need a hug…”. I know that everything inside of me will settle and be soothed if I could just get human contact. Because I’m a tough cookie, showing my emotions freely and asking for comfort when needed is not as comfortable for me as it is to act stoic and unfazed. Instead of making things easy for myself and those within my surroundings by merely voicing my needs, I wait, silently, internally disturbed, until the feelings all subside and I can resume my usual happy hippy carefree self and come out proud that I once again got through whatever was bothering me on my own. It is a method of coping that has gotten me through 32years of being an overly sensitive female in a male based environment. It is a method of coping that no longer satisfies me in any way.

In order to change my evil ways, I started by educating myself about the science behind A Hug. I was always aware of cute little factoids such as hugs are good for your health and kissing burns calories, but it’s always fun to know Why. For a good hug to take effect you must embrace at least 20 seconds or longer. If you are hugging for 20 seconds or longer multiple times a day with one or more partners please expect one or more of the following results:

  • a boost in oxytocin levels which leads to a boost in happiness
  • calming of your nervous system and a boost in positive emotions
  • lower blood pressure and relief from anxiety
  • lower cortisol (the stress hormone) enabling better sleep
  • increased social connections and a sense of belonging
  • strength within your personal romantic relationship (studies have shown that couples who hug more are more likely to stay together)
  • a reduction in pain levels

I read an article from Scientific American that focuses on a study published last year out of Carnegie Mellon indicating that feeling connected to others protects us from stress-induced sickness. This research coincides with a large amount of evidence on the positive influence of social support on health. Give the rest of the article A Hug A Day Keeps The Doctor Away , a look-see here.

As someone who is living with an auto immune disease and is riddled by chronic pain daily, I can say without hesitation that when I feel connected and comforted by good energy and intentions, my body struggles significantly less. I can feel the effects of my stress and relief instantaneously. My brain recognizes stress and my body reacts by my muscles tightening, my joints locking, my nerves firing, my limbs growing heavy and eventually my narcolepsy will kick in as a defense and my brain will to go to sleep. I can keep my thoughts calm, but my body will still take over if I am truly upset or overwhelmed by something. Over the years I have found only three things that stop the rapid paralysis sensation that I can experience during stress. A hot bath or shower, being wrapped in a heating blanket, or… a hug. The second I am wrapped up within a warm embrace of some sort all of my senses calm and instead of my body taking over I feel blanketed in safety and calm and I relax and the feelings pass. Acknowledging how powerful a hug can be is one step, the next step is to just lay it all on the line, and ask for a hug when I want one. Sounds easy right? Yes well, tell that to my Pride. Pride & I are working this out, I really want more hugs and less stress. Wish me luck!

What stresses you out and how do you cope with it from day to day? I would love to hear your comments below!


The Opposite of Writer’s Block



Pardon my absence, I’ve been meaning to write. I am experiencing a blockage of some sort and I can not put a name to it. Something akin to the opposite of Writer’s Block. The opposite of a creative slowdown would be a creative overload, right?? Sweet Buddha so many ideas and so little time!!

What do you call it when you have too much to do, say and create? When the tasks, words and ideas don’t stop coming even after you have put pen to paper? When you look around your work space and find lists of your lists, none of which have anything crossed off yet you keep making senseless lists merely to purge the thoughts and ideas and make space for new ones. The urgency to use your time wisely is overwhelming the instinct to simply get anything done.

What do you do when there is too much to do?! Slow down. Just breath. Think back, think forward, think Now. What matters most to you? What is your purpose? Start small. Start simple.

Today my purpose is to be genuinely happy and to spread that happiness to at least one person. Also to finish my laundry and trim my toenails.

One Thing At A Time

I Can Feel You Through My iPhone


Any relationship takes work but long distance relationships do not work if both people are not equally committed. A study by Cornell University revealed that while couples in a “normal” relationship tend to have more daily interactions than couples in a long-distance relationship, the couples who had hundreds of miles in between them tend to have longer, more meaningful conversations. It has been proven that Long-distance couples try harder than geographically close couples in communicating affection and intimacy, and their efforts do pay back. I can honestly say that I am giving more of myself and my efforts than I have ever given any relationship that I have been in, not just because of our distance, but because I know they are TheOne, and all of our efforts are worth it.

Miles apart and Bae keeps repeating “communication is all we have. I think to myself, but we have So much more, we have memories, we have love, we have connection, we have a future. I hear the words loud and clear though, I understand and respect their desire to remain connected through all forms of communication. They are far better than I at living in the present moment and helping me see the value in doing so, more and more every day. I work through my days, party through my nights, but every now and then a stray emotion or three slithers through my barriers and I can tangibly feel our distance. Like a radar inside of me bleeping, reminding me of every single island, wave, mile, and hour we are apart. Most days I suck it up and work my tail feathers off, but the pain of missing My Other Whole feels just as honorable as the beauty of being in love. So I embrace it, and I give them all the communication that they desire while we are apart.
I was gifted with an old fashion soul mate who has high expectations, a penchant for hand written letters and appreciates filter free conversations just as much as I. We are a rare breed. Alas, we are also children of the 21st century. In appreciation of, but not slaves to, the instant gratification that modern technology can provide. I’ll be the first to admit, text messages, audio messages, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook have been key contributors to keeping me united with the one I love overseas. There are times that I feel like I can actually Feel MyLove through my iphone. The text bubbles in imessage give me real time, I know they are there. Hand is on their phone, I know exactly how they hold it, palms clasped around the base, thumbs quick at work on the touch screen. The second the message comes through I can picture MyLove’s thumb tapping the blue highlighted SEND with a little smirk on that gorgeous face that I love so much.

There are times that I find myself unable to put my phone down because I have become addicted to seeing notifications coming through my phone, only looking for one name in particular. I can see the text bubbles or the “Is Typing…” notification and I know I am not alone. 3,603 Miles apart yet I feel like my love is right There! As if I could push my finger through my touchscreen and caress their face, feel their touch, smell their scent. I would give anything to do so, but for now, this will have to satisfy. I can feel MyLove through my iPhone.
Anyone familiar with Snapchat knows that things can get real naughty real quick, but you can also get goofy and sentimental. Being in a long distance relationship I can fully understand the benefits of the App, especially with the updated Live Feed feature, similar to FaceTiming. New messaging and video chat features were added to Snapchat allowing users to send text to other users and save text messages by clicking on them. A crucial aspect of the update is the “Here” sign that can subtly appear at any moment as a blue bubble in your chat window. The bubble pulsates softly to inform a user that a friend is also available to engage in a video chat—video chatting (the live feed feature I mentioned earlier) can only occur between users who are concurrently using the app. When the Here button is held down, a live video chat function is immediately launched. Regarding the Here function, Spiegel (Snapchats creator) explained: “The accepted notion of an online indicator that every chat service has is really a negative indicator. It means ‘my friend is available and doesn’t want to talk to you,’ versus this idea in Snapchat where ‘my friend is here and is giving you their full attention.”

Just the sight of the blue button, whether it is pulsating or not gives me comfort that my love is there. Not beside me, and no where nearby, but There where ever that may be. I have their undivided attention for the moment, and I can feel them through my iPhone. For that moment, Nothing else exists but me, my love, that mesmerizing blue pulsating button, and the connection that it gives us. Comfort washes over me and instantly I feel like I can handle this distance between us and anything else that life throws our way. When you find your forever soul mate every thing that you do is worth every effort that you make. I know the long distance will not always be an issue in my relationship, so for now, I am grateful for the technology that I normally take such great pains to avoid.

Until my love is in my arms again, I can feel them through my iPhone.

I Am Not My Disease

I Am Not My Disease

I have Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS), but I am not my disease. Please do not treat me different, I am still am irregular girl.

It’s alright, I can tell you want to ask, I get it quite often. Go ahead and get nosy, I do not mind. Your questions means you care. Let’s take a walk, its uncomfortable for me to remain in one position to long.

Yes, I have arthritis. I was diagnosed with an inflammatory auto immune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis (pronounced ank-kih-low-sing spon-dill-eye-tiss) a year ago on my 30th birthday.

Yes, I am young. No, you can not always see it but I can always feel it. I use a cane at times to keep my balance when my legs don’t cooperate. Yes, I do look healthy, why thank you kindly. I altered my entire wardrobe to accommodate my daily discomfort. This is my favorite skirt, it hides my swollen legs, and it makes me feel pretty.

Every move I make is taken with gentle care and excessive planning. I’m not obsessive compulsive, See The Spoon Theory. Ok, and I might be a little OC, but I only use my powers for good. I am not unreliable, but my body is. No, it is not contagious. Yes, You can touch me, but do it gently because I am fragile. I bruise easily and I can feel the vibrations of your voice on my skin. Sound waves ripple across my nerve endings constantly but you wouldn’t know anymore, I’ve finally stopped flinching every time I hear a new noise.

Pardon, I need to have a seat, my knees and feet are beginning to swell and stiffen from walking. Please, sit with me, and do not treat me any differently, I beg of you. I am still the same vivacious woman you met 10min ago, I just can’t walk anymore right now. Yes it hurts. All the time. Yes, my smile is genuine, is yours? I am happy. Life is beautiful why wouldn’t I be? You see, I have AS, but I am not my disease.

My joints ache, my bones get stuck, my nerve endings are fried. I enjoy long stretches, slow walks, warm blankets, hot bubble baths, and I’m a sucker for a good massage. No, it is not curable. Yes, it is manageable. No, I do not use the prescriptions that line my medicine cabinet. Do you know where I can dispose of them safely? Yes, I use herbal powders, holistic remedies, progressive muscle and autogenic relaxation techniques. My mind is stronger than my body.

I took a year off of life. I didn’t give up, simply took a long rest. I over came a great number of hurdles with very little support. No I am not bitter. I do not keep score, but I can not forget. I do not hold grudges, but I wish you had been there, I could have really used your help. Pardon, I need to stand a bit, my hips are swelling from sitting. No, don’t get up. And don’t treat me differently. Let me finish my story while I still have the energy. Let’s speed this up a bit.

I took the term fresh start to the extreme. I said goodbye to everything I knew and everyone I loved. I quit my job and moved to an island with my doctor’s blessing. I changed my way of thinking first, my surroundings second, and my diet third. I’m not too proud to admit it, you were right, it was food and stress (well yes, and an auto immune disease causing severe inflammation and bone fusion, but, you know, mostly food and stress). With every subtle change that I made I felt lighter, stronger, happier.

I am 31 years old now. I recreated life as i knew it. I live a simplistic lifestyle that revolves around taking care of my body and mind first. I made a home and a career for myself on the island and visit the Mainland for the ones I love and left behind. My body is weary but my heart is happy. Our minds are incredibly powerful. Every single aspect in our lives is a determining factor of our health. I am living proof. My cane is getting dusty. Yes, I am still in pain and I do not sleep the greatest at night but my days are full. I do to much to make up for lost time to come because I do not know how this disease will progress through the years. My body has taught me more about life in these past two years than any schooling or role model that influenced me. I am constantly craving more knowledge from my growing community of compassionate souls. How do You cope with what ails you? What tricks do you use to trick your mind and calm your inner soul? I would love to know….





Happiness Will Save The World

Happiness Will Save The World

So you want to make the world a better place huh? Well then, show me what you’re made of. What’s you’re weapon of choice? Are your blood thirsty troops armed and ready for a battle to the death? Did you gather your most devout believers to burn candles, sprinkle holy water, and pray on it? Or are you perhaps sitting clustered in a circle with equally peaceful tree huggers meditating on the earths vibrations and leaving it to faith that our Mother will handle it as She sees fit? It begins with a need and desire to see things better than they currently are, but if the path is not walked correctly then more damage can be done than harm. I say start small, mind your own business, and Be Happy. It wont be power and war that saves us. Not knowledge, education or even unconditional love that will be our salvation. It will be Happiness.

We have become desensitized to one another’s feelings, going so far as to display discomfort or even disgust at a display of another’s emotions. The stronger and more independent we get, the less we allow ourselves to feel. Walls of safety stacked around our hearts buffering us from even our own true feelings and making it easier for us to lie to ourselves. Losing touch with our intuitions and not trusting our instincts. We make ourselves feel safe, but are we truly happy? Do we even understand what Happiness means? No matter how much people have they still seem to display unhappy characteristics (unidentified anger, jealousy, self consciousness, etc). Recognizing it within myself, I fought, battled, and struggled for a change. I had to learn to stop wasting my energy on the emotional vampires that were sucking my happy soul dry.  The only way to make a change, is to live by example. You want to make the world a better place, then start by making Your world a better place. Focus on yourself first, and then start spreading the love around.

More than feared experiences and misconceptions, it is the unpredictable nature of people that terrifies me. I refuse to give up on humanity no matter how much it has hurt me and will most likely continue to hurt me. I want to be free to feel and be comfortable feeling. Not just the happy rewarding moments but the trials and tribulations that alter our paths and mind sets as well. I want to speak not just to hear my own voice, but to receive honest feedback from the ones I am conversing with. I want to live just to Be. Not to live for an end goal or an afterlife legacy, but simply just for the pleasure of being alive. I do not want to live in an environment where it is considered a weakness of character to cry when sad or shout when angry. I do not want to live in a community that only shows you love and support when the situation is a positive one. I want to be surrounded by people that show support through the good and the bad without selfish intent. I am not expecting perfection of character in each and every one of my companions, but I do demand honesty and respect from this point forward. This is a new year, where I will introduce myself to new habits, new energies, and spread myself above and beyond to new boundaries.  I choose to be happy and to surround myself with like minded happy people. You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who weight you down and steal your sunshine. Know that real friendship is simple, easy, weightless and Free! Pick up and hold on to people you love along the way….but travel light. Float on. Be happy. Love more!

My happiness will know no boundaries and will be stopped by no amount of negative forces working against me. I am going to change the world. My seed has been planted, I water it daily, and I am prepared for its growth.

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Tina and Donna on the boat ride to the Lodge